Fighting For My Body: In the Ring with C-PTSD

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Mark Twain In February 2009, just before my 35th birthday would’ve made me ineligible, I faced off in a public boxing ring with a woman 20 years my junior and at least 15 pounds heavier. … Continue reading Fighting For My Body: In the Ring with C-PTSD

A Different Kind of Fear

“I wouldn’t use this door because it’s dark and someone could easily attack you.” My long lost cousin’s wife is showing me the private entrance to the furnished basement apartment in their mansion I’m moving into. She suggested I move in the day we met (I can be so charming), after her husband randomly discovered … Continue reading A Different Kind of Fear


Being at my bottom, broken and vulnerable, changed me. I felt completely lost and alone. But something new happened. I needed people. And when I saw how closed everyone around me around me was, my heart rebelled. It opened. When I was alone in my twenties, I felt free with every possibility before me. At … Continue reading Love

Am I Still Here?

It’s October 2016. Or maybe January 2017. Either way, I’m lying in bed having just opened my eyes and find myself, again, slightly surprised to be alive. When did I finally fall asleep last night? Thank God I finally fell asleep last night. But here I am again. Another day. How do I do this? … Continue reading Am I Still Here?